Trained at Princeton University and the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy, I have over 20 years experience helping couples to get closer to each other. In my experience, a good relationship or marriage largely depends on good communication. I have found that good communication in turn depends mostly on the honest and open expression of feelings. In the couples therapy that I do, I help you to identify and express how you are feeling on an emotional level toward your partner. I believe that once you identify and express those feelings you can then do something about them.
Couples typically get into a "dance" with each other. Your reaction triggers a reaction in your partner which triggers a reaction in you, etc. The purpose of my therapy is to identify the pattern (or rut) that you get into and help you find ways to change your part in it.
People often come into a session complaining about their partner. What I usually say is that you're not going to be able to change your partner too much. I ask you to focus on what you can do to change the pattern you're stuck in and improve the relationship. It helps the most, I believe, for each person to take responsibility for creating the current relationship to some extent and find ways to make improvements. Your relationship contains a message for you as to what you can do to make it better. I help you to find that message and make whatever changes you can make.
Once you make these changes I believe that you will get closer and feel more intimate. The petty or frequent arguments that you are having will then seem to diminish or disappear almost by magic.
